The Penny Arcade Report: If You Support the Shantae Kickstarter, You Might As Well Join the KKK

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53 Responses

  1. Le Gaemur says:

    Oh shit Jack, you’re playing with fire. The SJ are…..

  2. kawaiigirls says:

    You dense, braindead, white guilt spreading mother fucker.

  3. Whooper says:

    SHIT SITE FOR SHIT NEWS

  4. Dekudude says:

    this is obviously a joke and i think dumb people are going to miss that and get angry

  5. Not getting satire says:

    Breddy gud article mang. Unfortunately many people are going to take it seriously and shit like this hurts the gaming industry.

  6. OrcaStacks says:

    I believe the scientific term for this ordeal is “clickbait”.

  7. Benjamin says:

    Writing an article to sound ironically stupid doesn’t work as a “funny” when the actual subject is so pants on head retarded that no one could ever actually make that argument.

  8. Anonymous says:

    I’m a very mixed race person like 8 or something and i can honestly say you’re insane.
    … faggot

    • Anonymous says:

      Do all those races have european origins
      If so how huge (measured in erect volume, not mass) is the penis in your rectum right now

  9. Covarr says:

    I am Mexican and this is offensive.

  10. No. says:

    My sides.

  11. Chip Dewrito says:

    THIS SHIT IS GOING STRAIGHT ON MY TUMBLR. VIDEO GAMES CAN’T BE ALLOWED TO BE MADE WITHOUT INTENSE SCRUTINY FROM PEOPLE LOOKING TO BE OFFENDED.

  12. Le Ribbit frug says:

    this is probably the stupidest and most hilarious shit I’ve read all week.

  13. Shitaku says:

    Wow I’ve been on tumblr so long I thought this was serious at first, should’ve known it was fake this isn’t kotaku

    • UNDOMESTICATED SNOWMAN says:

      You’ve been mysled all along Sir. Kotaku is just a “gaming” journalism site. This is serious journalism.

  14. Kool Kid says:

    I’m already part of the Kool Kidz Klub.

  15. Transfat Pansexual Christian-to-Atheist Ponylover says:

    As a non-white racialfluid person, I agree wholeheartedly. It is really selfish to enjoy playing video games because they are “fun,” when there are obvious hateful underlying messages present.

    I’m doing my part to stop racism by not buying video games with white people in them. I’m sure racism will vanish any day now!

  16. Anonymous says:

    Shitty satire. Try harder at least next time.

  17. Monkey Man says:

    Ben Kuchera used his iPhone to close comments on the article before anyone could object.

    He also used his iPhone to write an article on how Ayla from Chrono Trigger is a sexist stereotype of pre-civilized humans. He then advised all readers to check their privilege. Anyone denying their privilege was immediately banned.

    (Disclosure: I am an Apple investor and a male feminist.)

  18. Anonymous says:

    Next time on P4R: Jack investigates the misogynistic nature of pokemon XY.
    On a sidenote, am I the only one who thinks “MEGA CHARIZARD X” sounds fucking stupid? No seriously, they decided to have a pokemon named “MEGA CHARIZARD X” – because charizard, a literal flame breathing dragon, wasn’t good enough, apparently.

    • Anonymous says:

      I’m jut waiting for nintendo to respond to the X/Y leaks by changing all the fire starter’s Megas to Fire/Fighting type.

  19. luckydan says:

    Hi Penny Arcade, I know this is joke but I tell you a dangerous one. There is soooooo much shit in the news today now that’s extremely hard to pull the facts from the fluff especially with the news today being “Extremely Selective” with their target audience. I don’t know about you guys over in America but in Australia we had issues in the Australian like “bicycle road rage” which had a very selective amount of survey over the outer edges of Sydney and the survey was done over 2 of the wettest months of the year and this is becoming common place both in the journalism side.

    In my opinion it has been always like this but journalist now believe they are being so sincere and polite that the shit they spew from the mouth now is becoming dangerously fact and no one has done anything about it in the past few years. I believe in about 10 years time everything will become so disproportionate that will we end up believing that we can fly out of 10 story buildings now, oh wait we can……

    Just my 2 cents worth.

    • Mac Johnson says:

      Indeed, Penny Arcade should be held accountable.

      (Disclosure: having read this post on my iPhone 3GS, I may have missed key points due to my iPhone 3GS not being as good as an iPhone 5C)

  20. anon says:

    Satire? Sure, I’ll go with that.

    Completely dumb, not funny in any aspect, retarded satire.

    • Anonymous says:

      I thought it was funny, especially the bit where he made fun of white folks patronizing other races’ representation in videogames.
      Let me put it this way. Black comic artists have created black superheroes when they felt blacks were under-represented in comics. Asians make games and they feature white folks by choice – because it’s cool to them (remember that? when you made games because it’s cool instead of “trying to make a fucking cinematic open-world immersive culturally-sensitive experience”?). The middle east is featured in every other game from prince of persia to asscreed to Modern Manshoot 40k. Most of the programmers that do the programming for games are from south-asia and they’re too busy earning money to worry about “cultural representation”.
      The only people who actually care about “equel representations of race in das videa” are retards with social science degrees who come up with hilarious racist ideas akin to “black folks like marvel vs capcom because MVC has a black chun-li called shadow lady who shoots missiles out of her ass when she bows, clearly a better racial representation than xmen vs streetfighters”. The worst part is that these racists-in-disguise don’t just come up with these ideas, they actually believe in it.
      It’s all just a wider effort to get games taken seriously when all that we need to do is translate baldr sky into english and remember what good games should be.

    • Transfat Pansexual Christian-to-Atheist Ponylover says:

      I thought he nailed Mr. Groen’s whiny desperate-for-clicks writing style.

  21. Western says:

    Lots of angry white commenters, they need to check their privilege.

    Also they may have quickly aaddressed Shantae’s racial issues but won’t anyone think of the sexism and misogyny? If you support this Kickstarter you may as well punch a woman.

  22. Darii says:

    This article reads like it was taken straight from Kotaku.

  23. Niwannabe says:

    I’m offensive and I find this black.

  24. Mr. Gone says:

    “I admit that I am a white person, but that does not stop me from being colored on the inside.”

    ROFLMAO!

  25. As the third black person on the Internet, I would like to thank you for exposing such an injustice in the gaming world. As a black man raised in the 80’s and 90’s my role models in the digital world were few and far between. Although the first few years of gaming were understandable in source material and diversity, I soon became more and more distant from my white peers in terms of fandom and representation.

    “Mike! You can’t be the Double Dragons! You’re too dark! You should be Pimple from Battletoads.”

    It made sense, but for a fraction of a second I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness. I really liked Double, and Dragon was one of my favorite characters. To be made into a Battletoad with a skin tone similar to my own seemed like justice at the time, but life would not be so simple. Racism slowly became real in gaming to me, from the bigoted treatment of Black Bomberman in Super Bomberman to the dominantly white pilots selected for the Captain Skyhawk program.

    As I grew older and got into cosplay, it became evident that the world of fiction was simply for me. While my sports-playing contemporaries had many role models, such as The Orange Juice Simpson, Emmitten Smith and my namesake Mike Singletary, the gaming and anime world had no such blessings for this 90’s kid.

    Pirotess, Record of Lodoss War.

    Mihoshi, Tenchi Muyo.

    Anthy, Revolutionary Girl Utena.

    Always the bridesmaid, never the bride it would seem. While crossplay is certainly a viable option, having only a crossgender option that matched my heritage was only part of the insult sandwich I was ordered to make in the kitchen. Certainly, these supporting characters and mauve shirts had their awesome moments, but never a powerhouse of awesome. Woe, world, you have left this wondering truffle without a place in this world.

    I am no Dee Jay. Blade was close, but only a small blessing. If only there was a Castlevania: Crisis of the Club. As a mixed breed African American and Pee Dee descendant, my hair can be most glorious if twisted or relaxed in the way of a vampire. Sadly, such attempts are only met with ‘Count Chockula’ by even my counterculture contemporaries. What of the amazing thing to pull from my culture? Maybe a Final Fantasy gameplay system where you never really get much gil, utilizing a debt system where you have to make payments on time in Gold City, otherwise the random battles are peppered with Atma Bill Collectors. It isn’t always about escaping; putting a wonderfully dread spin on existing fears can make an amusing experience, as we saw with the great success of every Uwe Boll film.

    Why, game industry, can we not have games that reach out into the willfully unknown? While I will admit that a lack of diverse participation may be at fault, think of the exotic potential. We seek out different worlds of fantasy all of the time, in both terms of blissful wonder and terror. Let me tell you about terror. Though many of the Dystopic Utopia plots that aim for originality have reached into the very depths of political intrigue and social strife, I have yet to see a single Walmart, Lay-A-Way shop system or Payday Loan dungeon reach the mainstream.

    This article speaks truth from the mouth of a dragon, charring the backs of the gaming industry with flames of Latino Heat and Indian curry. Fly, Jack. Fly to the skies as our white angel of justice, and champion our cause with your pink lips that could tell no lie.

    At least Vol’jin is Warchief now.

    • Anonymous says:

      I think the problem is, theres no diversity in game developers and anime writers most are Caucasian or Asian, I mean really how many times have you seen a tour of a game studio and there been anything but Caucasian and Asian people? Its not that they hate other races, they don’t want to put something in their game without 1st hand knowledge, since whats acceptable to one person may be massively offensive to another, and if you make a character missing that key essences of understanding their nationality, the character becomes generic and unreal to people of that nation. But as for the cosplaying aspect you don’t need to be that particular race to cosplay someone, I don’t care if I see a Black man with blonde spiked hair and a kick ass sword, sounds bad ass to me lol. Cosplaying is about being someone you like, as long as you execute the costume right I couldn’t care at all what color your skin is. Honestly I think Rpgs like Elder scrolls should be the base of all games, make my character customizable to a point, it would avoid all controversy instantly oh so long as you also add an option to change sex as well or make two main characters like Pokemon has been doing in recent years and give you customization on them.

  26. Article is derpy says:

    Holy shit lets all drop everything were doing and nitpick every game for any possible controversy there is. Its a video game, if you don’t like┬áit, or it doesnt speak to some form of self riteousness then don’t buy it.

  27. zaik says:

    You make this thinking it’s just satire, but if Ben Kuchera had actually posted this on the PA Report before he managed to single handedly kill it not a single person would have been the slightest bit surprised.

  28. Tsukuyomi says:

    I love Shantae. I care less whether she’s white or brown, but I like tan skin better.

  29. “I admit that I am a white person, but that does not stop me from being colored on the inside.”
    It took me getting to that part before I stopped and jumped to the comment section to figure this out. I’m very happy that someone made a satirical article like this.
    Gaming defiantly needs to mature and em-better itself. Discussion needs to abound for this to get started.
    But all I ever see in gaming media anymore are articles from either endlessly offended people, or people playing the “Look at the sexism/racism” line to grab pageviews.
    People need to stop whining about being butthurting, as if blatant sexism and stupid racism should be negotiated or pleaded with, as if we are helpless against the idiots who propagate and eat this shit up. We’ve said enough, I want to see this stuff in the future as we mature being told to simply fuck off by the community.
    2. To be totally hypocritical here, we also can’t just sit here and talk about this. What’s wrong, what should change, how it should change. We need people that can get out their and change it.

  30. omg nope says:

    really? it might be a mistake you twat

  31. Nonya says:

    OH MY GOD THERE ARE WHITE CHARACTERS AS THE MAIN PROTAGONISTS IT MUST BE AN ANTI-COLOR AGENDA BECAUSE REASONS!!!!

    F*cking facepalm.

    The reason Shantae was white was because of a lighting glitch in the early builds of Half Genie Hero, and the promotional people just saw her being white and went with it. This is the stupidist article I have ever read.