Sega Seeking New Mascot Since Sonic Has Been Ruined By Fans

Sega has recently announced a contest to create a mascot to represent their new Sega Raw show. They say that Sonic the Hedgehog can not be used because his perception has been ruined by fans.


“Hosting the show with Sonic the Hedgehog would have ruined it,” asserts Sega’s chief creative officer and host of Sega Raw Toshihiro Nagoshi, “I don’t want certain types of people watching the show. This show is meant for true Sega fans only, not Sonic the Hedgehog fans.”

Nagoshi is most well known for producing the Super Monkey Ball and Yakuza games. He speaks very fondly of his position saying, “I am blessed to have worked on such beloved Sega franchises. I just feel bad for those at Sonic Team although maybe a lot of them stay on for the privilege of working on Phantasy Star.”

“This new mascot will eventually replace Sonic the Hedgehog as Sega’s main mascot,” mentions Nagoshi, “The show is merely a test run for him or her. Granted, I’m sure anything we choose will be better than Sonic the Hedgehog. I don’t know why so many horrible people latched onto him and not Mario.”

“We do realize that we are probably going to receive a lot of terrible submissions from people who will submit something like name-goes-here the animal,” admits Nagoshi, “We’re looking for a needle in a haystack essentially. A needle that will not ruin Sega’s image from fans making disturbing fan work of it.”

When asked what Sega will do with Sonic the Hedgehog after he is retired as a mascot, Nagoshi replied, “Lock him up in the vault with Alex Kidd.”

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313 Responses

  1. Robotnik says:

    Can you tell me why is sega saying this? I mean they fucked sonic, not us. Also where are the acclaimed Sega fans( not including sonic fans) ?

  2. Mackenzie says:

    Wait this can b good I mean the new mascots can b sonic shadow and silver the three s everyone loves them or maybe amy Rouge and cream this is not implying the couples if I was gonna do that
    If I was going 2 do this I would do Maria the hedgehog shadow needs her so bad and shadows a copy of the real one play shadow the hedgehog so they should do the same 4 maria this is full proof