With Sega relying heavily on their Japanese arcade games to stay afloat and shutting down European offices, many predict that their video game days are over. Today, Sega has announced they are selling officially licensed Sonic porn.
For those who traverse the dark sprawls of the internet, Sonic the Hedgehog porn is not difficult to find. In fact, there is a dedicated size of the fan base who enjoy writing erotic fiction and drawing nude pictures of the hedgehog. Many deride these fans; however, but there are some who have made money off them. Enough so that Sega wants a piece of the pie.
In an announcement related to their video game ventures, Sega has announced targeting artists and writers who have abused the Sonic trademark for erotic works and offering leniency if they transfer the rights to the work towards Sega. Sega has also announced they will target high-profile artists to help develop an official marketplace for Sonic erotica.
Sega CEO Hajime Satomi justifies this extreme course of action in a press release statement:
Sonic the Hedgehog is still a valuable license despite the many mistakes made with the video game series. Regardless of how the video games perform, there are other avenues of revenue associated with the series through arcade games, comics and animation. Through our research, adult fans of Sonic the Hedgehog clamor for adult entertainment and I believe we are missing a huge opportunity by not satisfying these fans. We can not afford to shun any type of revenue no matter how bad this may look upon the company. We would rather survive and be called every name in the book than die without a fight.
Sega’s site for ordering a future erotica collection starring Sonic the Hedgehog has already crashed due to the high volume of traffic received since the announcement.
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Source?
Sega
Sega is not a person. it is not a time and place. it is not an article or a press conference. it is not a “source”. it is a company brand. saying that “Sega” is the source only confirms you’re a complete liar. don’t use gaming news sites to spread completely baseless complete bullshit. it does nothing but ruin a gaming news sites chances of becoming trusted.
P.S. try harder to make believable fake news.
GET READY FOR THE SONIC PORN LIVE ACTION MOVIE
CUMMING THIS SUMMER…
The flood games are now open…
Webpage :/
calling bullshit on this
+1
Source link?
Not sure about this, no source makes it seem like a theory. Provide a write-up FROM Sega and I will believe it.
M8′s its shizzling true!!1111!!!
Good job as always Jack, the only real vidya journalist.
Even if they do have to have a license to draw nude pics of Sonic how are they ever going to be able to enforce it? There are too many people to keep track of to be able to enforce any one to even “buy” one of thier licenses so they are wasting thier time, besides the artists are just expressing thier right to “freedom of expression”.
I have never heard of anyone calling their Sonic pornography freedom of expression. This is a new one to me.
If this is true, and I’m sure it isn’t, but if it is, when and will this be available?…
So I can be the first person in line
“Sega’s site for ordering a future erotica collection starring Sonic the Hedgehog has already crashed due to the high volume of traffic received since the announcement.”
With no link for the site.
Sure is legit guise.
Play4Real does not promote pornography in any way.
It’s disgusting how people will write off real, hard-hitting journalism just because “lol not enough sauce”. You should probably mosey on back to Kotaku if you want to hear about the latest cosplaying craze. We’ll stay here for the real stories.
It’s disgusting how some people will believe anything they read on the internet. Without something to back this gentleman’s claims, there’s no reason to believe him.
Come up with a source to back the article and I’ll believe it. Until then, I suggest you work a bit on your common sense.
Guys, this is fake. It’s all a joke.
Gives a whole new meaning to Knuckles…
You fooled a lot of people today, Jack. Good work
SEGAs Japanese CEO would never admit mistakes being made… so it must be fake.
THEY CAN’T, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO ENFORCE THIS WITH THE SERIES HAVING AN INTERNATIONAL FANBASE.
It’s fake, damn it.
No source = obvious fake.
Guys it’s real, they pretty much inferred this was going to happen with Rouge’s tit-jiggle in SA2.
Thanks for the quality game journalism. If only Kotaku were as unbiased as this website.
It’s not just Sonic but all of the other toon-type porn as well, each artist has his or her likes and dislikes so they express it in the way they want (even though there are probably more “likes” than “dislikes” I would think).
I am excited
Are you retarded? Or just retarded?
I am excited.
I love how people don’t even look at the rest of the website and not realize it’s a parody website
Obviously a satirical piece, but hey, official erotica worked for GAINAX and Evangelion.
http://www.evamonkey.com/faq_askjohn_443.php
“Gainax itself has produced some official hentai model kits and CD-ROM illustrations of Evangelion characters, but no actual ecchi Eva animation.”
lol Sonic don’t belong to SEGA, SEGA is just a company that helps other games get produce, you mean Sonic Team
Well done. You just called a practical joke “real, hard-hitting journalism”.
Sega went so low it became a prostitute…
We are so desperate XD
lol mad
That is, by far, the dumbest fucking thing I have read online in a long, long time. Please just kill yourself before you breed.
In response to; “lol Sonic don’t belong to SEGA, SEGA is just a company that helps other games get produce, you mean Sonic Team”
Hey man, as long as we get some consistently good quality Sonic content, then…
satire articles are serious business
It’s real you fucking cock knocker. Sega has officially hit rock bottom and now is desperate for fucking money.
lol @ morons believing this shit.
If that’s true, then you’re a terrible ‘journalist.’
BEANS
I can’t believe Sega would resort to this. More reason for the media to believe video games are corrupting our youth.
So I asked Aaron Webber in-game in Spiral Knights about this. He’s my guildmaster so it’s cool. Anyway here you go. It’s all fake. You’re welcome.
http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/352/9/8/sonic_porn_by_ayakomizuki-d5ogrr0.png
gamegrumps led me here. they believed this was real.
Uh…You do know that Sonic Team works for SEGA, right?
Excuse me? Are you retarded? Please refer to official studies conducted In which gamers have higher test scores and higher reflex’s compared to average students.
I would love to see these studies.
While this is obviously bullshit, half of this article is not that crazy.
Nintendo actually licensed a Mario porn parody but, of course, the only reason they licensed it was so it would never hit the stores again.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Hornio_Brothers, http://didyouknowgaming.com/post/36096432805/super-hornio-mario-brothers
I would love to see your sources
wtf
hehe.. I see Sabin :p #Crunch4life
Time to see just how fast Sonic is…
Sega is already still going through its dark ages and yet it wants to resort to this? Well, I have to say just give up sega or go join with another company if you can.
I know allot of people have used phrases like ‘Sega has raped/molested sonic’ but I think this is the closest they’ve come to the geuine thing.
I’m sorry but WHAT?!
Same here, haha
Actually its true.
holy shit man its happening!
Who the fuck would fuck a hedgehog
Holy fuckkckckckckckckckckkckc
Wtf BOOOOOOM
……..I’d buy that…….o__0
Mobius unleashed……………………LOL :D
fuck you all bitches
Game grumps
your f**king nuts
fake bullshit is funny.
WTF… The game grumps brought me here?
Jus’ why?!?!?!?
Mobiusunleashed.com is already active, you could check it out there!
Ah cumming i see what you did there
sega is the company jackass get your facts straight
well…. um… I uh……..
Money?……
Denial is the first stage of grief
Sega did announce that they copyrighted sonic porn, yes this site didn’t cite the sources well, but we can’t just be ignorant and call them fake.
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I DECLARE BULLSHIT!
sonic does belong to sega, he is sega’s mascot
THATS NO GOOD
Well, sounds like someone is a hurt, raging Sonic fan.