Recently, designer Cliff Bleszinski has advised Saints Row developer Volition on how to beat GTA by removing all the dildos. Rockstar, GTA developers, has confirmed that the lack of dildos in their games are why they are so successful.
Despite Bleszinski saying that he enjoyed the gameplay of Saints Row the Third more than recent Grand Theft Auto games, the dildo automatically makes the game less enjoyable no matter how much better the gameplay is. Grand Theft Auto V writer Dan Houser explains his plans on a successful release for the upcoming game.
“The first day we were called into planning the game, I laid down the ground rules for the writing staff. Number one, no dildos,” he explains, “Saints Row might be better than GTA in many, many aspects, but there is one aspect they can never beat us at. The lack of dildos.”
“It is this type of thinking that makes our games more fun than the competitors,” he continues, “When gamers see a dildo whether it be in real life or in a game, it ruins their entire day. In fact, when laying down the ground rules for GTA 5, I pulled out a used dildo in front of the staff to prove that point. Many said that their day was ruined by my demonstration.”
In fact, the success of many games can be determined by the amount of dildos a game has. Play4Real has done an analysis on the success of games with and without dildos:
Koch Media, the new owners of Volition, has said that Saints Row 4 will not have any dildos in order to ensure the success of the game.