PETA Member Traumatized By Pokémon, Sues Nintendo for Emotional Distress

With the recent release of Pokémon X and Y, buzz towards the franchise has hit a point not seen since its conception. Not everyone’s enjoying the re-found popularity though as PETA is once again aiming their attention towards Nintendo and the game industry.resizeIn a recent blog post by Miranda Bryant (after being confronted by a lawyer, we learned we had the wrong name here), Miranda wrote that her teenage daughter received a Nintendo 3DS with Pokémon Y from a friend for her birthday. She continued by saying that she’d originally heard of Pokémon from her eldest daughter many years ago due to her wanting the LeafGreen version of the game.

According to her, she nearly bought the game for her daughter until she saw the connection between “Green Leaf” and marijuana. “My daughter may have become a serial killer or worse, an animal abuser, if I had bought her the game,” she recalled, “I considered suing Nintendo right then for causing me so much distress all those years ago. Are there even any Christians at Nintendo?”

Deciding to do some research about the new Pokémon games, she came across the recently aired Pokémon: Origins series which she described as “telling the story of the first computer games in the form of a Japanese cartoon.”

Curiosity quickly turned to outrage though as she witnessed a scene where “a small dog and her puppy are chased by some poachers and they end up cornering the baby dog.” It was then that she noticed the puppy had no skin on its head and its skull was visible which made it clear to her that these poachers must have abused these poor creatures for science experiments. She went on to describe that “the puppy eventually got away but had to listen as these vile men beat her mother to death.”

Further angered, she then went on to describe another scene where “a turtle was being forced to mate with an orange dinosaur.” Unfortunately, this was not a beautiful scene of animal lovemaking as it turned out the turtle was actually attacking the dinosaur. She said that the scream that the dinosaur let out as it was being tortured still rings in her ears and made her physically sick. “I haven’t been able to sleep for days because of watching this,” she wrote, “The people who own these animals just stand around and watch while this slaughter is going on. It’s barbaric.”

She ended the post with the following:

After a brief argument, I was able to wrestle my daughter’s Nintendo away from her and broke it in half. I flushed that horrible Pokemon game down the toilet with my cat’s droppings. I’ve banned her from any video games and anything Pokemon-related and told her that she’s never going to see the boy who bought the game for her ever again. And I’ll be home schooling her from now on.

The following Instagram post from Bryant’s daughter was deleted after the blog post went viral.

Original Caption: OMG MY MOM IS NUTS!! H8 HER WANT TO MOVE OUT!! #fml #3ds #broken #<3ubrett #marrymebrett

Bryant now says that she is having meetings with her lawyers about suing Nintendo and McDonald’s (a sponsor of Pokémon: Origins) for emotional trauma, home tuition fees for her daughter and for the price of the broken handheld. Sources also say that Bryant recently filed for divorce after catching her husband hiding in the bathroom on the toilet playing the game. He apparently told her to “fuck off” as he was about to catch a Shiny Mr. Mime.

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1,281 Responses

  1. Esther Ko says:

    The husband was right.
    She should fuck off.

  2. Garrett says:

    Really, just really, she needs to know that this is a gaming tradition, and the Pokemon love to fight for their trainers, and Leaf Green is not marijuana and is what I call a “super mega ultra giant collosal BITCH” and how does a game for kids turn someone into a serial killer, and you DON’T Sue Nintendo you will be hated by all. I hate her soul. If anyone knows her show her this and slap the FUCKING sence back in her

  3. adolfo says:

    peta no es muy inteligente es?

  4. Nancy says:

    I am cruelty free and consume no animal products at all. I am fiercely against animal abuse and cruelty and wish all the world would stop eating meat. This being said, Pokemon is a game I enjoyed since childhood. This woman is psychotic and I feel for her child. She might actually be worse than psychotic if she’s sane, then she’s just a horrible person who thinks she can stop abuse while abusing others especially her poor child. I feel saddened hearing her kid won’t be able to go to normal school if she wants and cannot see her good friend who cared enough about her to buy her such a pricy gift. I hope someone looks into her sanity and I hope her kid can get out of this house as soon as possible. It’s normally tough enough being a teenager as is…

    • Zach says:

      You are right.

      • Purplecloud says:

        No she isn’t correct, in fact she’s VERY wrong.

        1: you actually help pokemon turn to a lot stronger state

        For example, a poochenya always runs away from their enemies and are complete wimps. But if it evolves, they become a mightyena

        2: don’t say “OH WELL WHAT ABOUT THE POKEMON YOU BRUTALY BEAT UP”

        Well, they just eat Oran berries that heals them up.

        3: some pokemon need to evolve with happiness from their trainers, like azurills and sylveons

        4: pokemon actually do love their trainers. Like gardevior, who protects her trainer no matter what the situation is.

        And even in the lore, people once married pokemon a long time ago.

        5: that comment her son made is 10000000 percent fake

        Now let’s see if you could defend your opinion

  5. Zach says:

    Dude.You suck BALLZ. Pokemon is a great game !Nintendo is great,tanooki suits are great.By the way, Pokemon black and blue and the redux SUCKS.

  6. Zach says:

    This woman is crazy!

  7. Thechugg7 says:

    It’s a joke right? Nobody can be THAT stupid….

  8. Freddy Fazbear says:

    That lady needs to be arrested for destruction of private property. Also, Pokemon are not animals. Pokemon are Pokemon.

  9. Purplecloud says:

    Actually, capturing pokemon is a good thing.

    If you actually played the game you see that alot of them are not evolved.

    Why? Because of how weak they are, for example, a poochenya is most likely to run away from battles.

    You’re actually helping them evolve and become a lot stronger and more defensive against other preys.

    And azurill is actually pretty depressed until it evolves with happiness from their trainer.

    And that comment that your son made is 10000000 percent FAKE.

    No one ever talks like that.

  10. Miles says:

    …she may have autism…

    • Luna Whiteglass says:

      Naw man, I have Asperger’s syndrome which is very related to autism, but it let me get to have connections with many people who are autistic, and they’re not psychopaths. Autism is a developmental disorder, not a mental illness. Different. So not only is that kind of insulting, what you just said, it’s also just… not accurate. If it was anything she might have a little multiple personality disorder, bipolar disorder, or mild schizophrenia or anything of that sort. But she doesn’t seem autistic to me and tbh, the fact that you just correlated her psychoticness with autism is really insulting towards me, sorry. Just telling you so you know in the future. c:

  11. somerandompokemonlover says:

    lol this article is clearly fake.

  12. Anonymous says:

    That Mother is a fucking Slut, I Hope Someone Beats the Living Shit out of her Brutally, Fucking bitch, FUCK PETA.

    • Anonymous says:

      Peta is basically just a mass euthanizing organisation comprising of idiots who think they are doing the right thing.

  13. Anonymous says:

    That Mother is a fucking Slut.

  14. Joe says:

    PETA is committed to their cause of helping animals. But their hate is not directed at the proper source. Instead of attacking Pokemon on a claim that no one will ever get behind, try directing your anger and concern at cock fights and organized animal fighting. And if you really want to hate on Pokemon, try distributing your hate at every video game in existence. It seems like you usually have to fight through some version of animal enemy in most games. How about suing Magic, The Gathering, for forcing mythical creatures fight it out in a fantasy land on playing cards while you are at it. Oh, and sue middle age England for using horses in battle. And why stop there? How about suing Moses for killing lambs for their blood in Passover. Or go all the way and sue yourselves for undoubtably killing trees, habitats for animals that you took away for the paper to make this garbage argument and build the buildings for your organization. And you might as well go all the way. Sue natural selection for killing millions of animals every day. Get your priorities strait.

  15. Anonymous says:

    Please tell me this is some sort of satire

  16. Roger says:

    WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

  17. Anonymous says:

    You can’t catch Mr.Mime…

  18. Jess Gingras says:

    You want barbaric, PETA? I’ll give you barbaric!

  19. y says:

    higeru Miyamoto Fired from Nintendo After Being Caught with PlayStation Vita

    Gamers Petition White House to Make Being a Nintendo, Sony, or Microsoft Fan a “Protected Class”

    soooooo why any of you bolived that?

  20. lol wut name says:

    lost my shit for a staight minute after reading the last sentence…
    BEST
    STORY
    EVER.

  21. Rory says:

    What the fuck she needs mental help a lot of Pokemon don’t even look like animals I would do the same thing as her daughter if my mum snapped my 2ds and threw all my Pokemon games out

  22. Anonymous says:

    This is why I hate people… God idiots like these should be taken to an island and bombed

  23. Sabee says:

    Terrible, terrible, parent

  24. Daniel Callahan says:

    SHE has emotional distress? You fucking snapped your daughter’s DS in half and flushed her game down the toilet. You drove your husband to hide in the bathroom to play video games in peace and YOU have emotional distress? Actually, I think she’s right. Let’s lock her up in the nut house before she shoots up a McDonald’s or a Nintendo studio over motherfucking Pokémon!

  25. Anonymous says:

    peta sucks let it disband i love pokemon