Men’s Rights Activists Turn Samus into a Man after Dad Replaces Mario with Pauline for Daughter
A father recently made a hack of the Donkey Kong arcade game for his daughter after she wondered why she could not play as a girl. Men’s rights activists have responded by hacking Metroid and turning Samus into a man.
“This is a slap in the face to all men out there,” says Mike Walls, leader of a men’s rights gaming group called the Mr. Pac-Men, “This father is doing a complete disservice for his daughter and is essentially brainwashing her into becoming a feminist.”
“In fact, I would not be surprised if he was a feminist himself considering he did not give any real thought into what this hack would do for men across the globe. He is setting men’s rights back a bunch of years with his actions,” Walls continues, “Why can’t his daughter just respect that Mario is only doing his job?”
Hacking expert for the Mr. Pac-Men, James Phelps, introduced the ‘Mentroid’ project after seeing the Donkey Kong hack. “If feminists are going to take away Mario, then we’re going to take away Samus,” Phelps explains, “This should be perfectly acceptable for us to do since it’s the same damn thing.”
Phelps continues to explain his worldview saying, “I idolize Mr. Miyamoto. He is pretty much the father of men’s rights in video games. He basically gave us the biggest gift of all, equality in the gaming world. Without him, we would probably never get games like Tomb Raider or Duke Nukem. He should really be thanked by all the girls out there for bringing a fresh perspective to gaming.”
“The Mr. Pac-Men gaming group will be censored no longer,” says Walls, “Just like slaves in the 1800s, we too will soon gain our freedom.”