IGN’s Rich George Reveals Interesting News to Son, Tells Him He’s Adopted

Yesterday, IGN’s Rich George told his nine year old son Ray that he had some interesting news to give him. Today, he revealed to Ray that he is, in fact, adopted.

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Upon hearing this news, Ray began to cry profusely and demanded to know why he would phrase this as interesting news. George replied, “It’s not my problem you assume things, come on. Be realistic.”

After a few minutes, Ray began to calm down and asked if his birthday party was still coming up in three weeks. His father delivered even more bad news by saying, “Actually, we had been celebrating your adoption date, not your real birthday. Your birthday is actually in seven months.”

George also added, “This would actually make your birthday coincide with two of your friends. We already agreed with their parents that we would have a simultaneous birthday party to save on some costs. It’s nothing against you, Ray.”

Ray also refused to read George’s blog post on the subject entitled ‘Adoption’s Struggle to Remain Relevant’ which George had spent the night before writing. He expected Ray to enjoy reading this article even if he felt cheated out of some interesting news.

In retaliation, Ray has unfollowed his father on Twitter and has told all his friends to “read Kotaku since anything is better than [his] piece of shit dad and his company.”

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5 Responses

  1. Hey says:

    Really Jack?

  2. Zup says:

    Bravo. As soon as the “interesting” news hit, I knew you guys would have something. Brilliant.

  3. Silver says:

    Great story. Was half expecting you to discuss how Nintendo was going to release Zelda and Smash Bros 4 on the Xbox and Playstation, but this is much more interesting story. Thank you very much for your hard work.

  4. KawaiiDesuNe says:

    10/10 journalism

  5. Poncho says:

    Utterly perfect use of satire. Bravo.