Game Journalists Unable to Impress Family With Their Job Over Thanksgiving Dinner

While this year’s Thanksgiving has come and gone, some game journalists are still feeling the sting from their family’s comments about their career during Thanksgiving dinner.namethereferenceyouget50pointsWe spoke with two prominent game journalists to talk about their experiences during Thanksgiving dinner with their families. First we spoke with Adam Sessler, executive producer at Revision3 Games, to talk about his humiliating story.

“They wanted to know if I had finally moved on from G4 and had found a legitimate use for my English literature degree,” began Sessler, “I always tell them that video game journalism is a legitimate use but they never take it seriously. Anyway, I talked about the PlayStation 4 fiasco I had but they just simplified it into me whining that I did not get to play some video games early. I corrected them and said that I reviewed them for a living, but then my mom just asked me why I couldn’t be a paramedic like my sister.”

“I think the most humiliating part was my family telling my wife that she could do better,” explained Sessler, “That hurt a lot. I’m doing the best I can with the skills I have gained all throughout my life. It’s just that my skills have best prepared me to play video games and review them on a website. It’s not my fault life decided to give me these talents. Growing up, I never thought I would become a well-respected video game journalist and I know I am well-respected because I have a Wikipedia page. But my mom just kept talking about how my sister saves lives all day. Big deal, I could do it too if I had the training.”

The Escapist’s Bob “MovieBob” Chipman also allowed us to repost his Thanksgiving rant about how his family treated him during dinner.

I don’t know what my family wants from me to be honest. I moved out of their house a year and a half ago. I have a job talking about movies and video games on the internet. I even make my own shows and I have a blog. What else do they want from a 32 year old man?

I showed my nieces and nephews the Super Mario 3D World review I did and I proudly explained to my family that it was the first professional video game review I have ever done in my life. Those little brats tore me to pieces. They said that my criticism of Bowser being the antagonist again was a flimsy excuse to air out my past grievances with the Mario series when gameplay is clearly the main focus of the game. I guess those brats didn’t forget about my Mario origins rant from last year. I mean, he is from Brooklyn, not the Mushroom Kingdom. At least I know those twerps were listening to me.

My parents took me aside and wondered if I needed to move back in. Hell no! I am a proud, independent game journalist and film critic like Roger Ebert. They said that they want to help me find a real job and maybe set me up with a girlfriend that they think would settle for me. They just don’t understand how serious my profession is. I spent all night playing PS4 games just so I could understand what that mysterious Japanese company Sony was trying to accomplish. After I told them that, they kind of gave up saying that it’s really their fault for not stopping me from playing Super Nintendo all night when I was a kid. Don’t know what that means and don’t really care because they got off my case.

I don’t think I’m going to go to my family’s Thanksgiving next year. But maybe I should because when next year rolls around, I’ll have another video game review done that’ll show my jerk nephew Kyle that he will never be as good as me with two professional reviews on a website.

Gaming journalists are advised next year to call themselves analysts and not elaborate further due to signing non-disclosure agreements with big-name companies like Sony.

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17 Responses

  1. Covarr says:

    Better to be good at a worthless job than shitty at a good one.

  2. Paul says:

    The thumbnail is a reference to Rocco’s Botte’s Unboxing Ring. The last episode. It’s Rocco’s Dad, Dick Botte. 50 points?

  3. Great White Whale says:

    “I am a proud, independent game journalist and film critic like Roger Ebert.”

    No. No you aren’t.

  4. The Real Monkey Man says:

    Ben Kuchera’s Thanksgiving discussion turned to the portrayal of women in video games, but it went nowhere after he refused to listen to anyone’s contrary arguments and closed the topic.

  5. edgethelucas says:

    Breaking the whole “in on the joke” thing for a moment to reflect that this might actually be a very real and sad issue. I mean with films we have a lot of critics we can safely respect like Roger Ebert, Gene Siskel, and even recently some of the guys over at the AV Club.

    I can name nobody impressive or professional for games in as high a manner as those above. Sad, I say. Does anyone think there will ever be a professional, noteworthy video game critic as famous as Roger Ebert?

    • HalfBaked says:

      I would say Erik Kian, but other journalists try their dang hardest to bash him for having opinions, so the masses will just assume hes an entitled brat like 99% of gamers. Only spoiled children care about things like cut content in the form of DLC or scandals involving bribery.

    • pewdiefan4lyfe says:

      LOL!!!! There already is!!!! His name is PewDiePie and he has the most popular YouTube channel on YouTube!!!!
      He’s famous and his opinion will shape video gaming for the next 20 years!!!
      Check out his stuff and become a bro like I did!!!

      Bro fist!!!!
      Bro chest bump!!!!
      Bro hand job!!!!

    • Albert Einstein says:

      GAWD, do you have Dementia or something?!!! Jontron! Jontron is not only at the “Ebert” level, he out does all of his reviews he’s ever done combined with the one that he makes monthly. He shits on their corpses as well.

    • The Real Monkey Man says:

      Well, it took a while for Roger Ebert to come onto the scene. It was 30 years of serious movies before he came along (I place the “serious movie” year at about 1930 since talkies came along and movies started to carry more complex plots).

      I’d put the “serious game” year at 1990, so it won’t be until 2020 that a Roger Ebert of video games comes along (given that 1980s video games were rather simplistic like early movies were).

      Problem is: Video games can take a lot longer to play than watch a movie. A person probably wouldn’t be able to play every important/good game simply due to the sheer amount of time required. And then there’s the problem that not every game is playable on modern computers/electronics (see NES Zapper and CRTs/LCDs). Movies don’t have those problems.

  6. edgethelucas says:

    Yeah, also playing video games is an extremely expensive hobby to keep up with. On top of the very real issue that most video games don’t have stories on as ambitious a level as most movies–even done to death ones like romantic comedies–and suddenly it becomes clear why most adults have “outgrown” video games as a hobby while movies have not faltered slightly in popularity.

    The most efficient way to keep up with games, I predict, will be to buy that fancy new Steam Box thing that displays Steam games on the TV. Since computer games don’t really require buying shiny new boxes and controllers, it’s fiscally more easy on the wallet. Games are constantly on sale. On top of all that, the fact that it plays on the TV instead of a monitor that’s potentially uncomfortably very close to your face means people can play on a comfy sofa together.

    Oh and 2020 seems about right.

  7. Anonymous says:

    You can’t fool me, no one would ever believe Moviebob is anywhere close to being considered a journalist of any kind.