Developers Are Running Out of Fake Excuses For Not Porting Games to the Wii U

Developers like Kojima Productions, Crystal Dynamics and Konami have all given excuses for not porting games to the Wii U. Other developers say they are using up all the good fake excuses to avoid saying porting to the Wii U is a bad business move.


A spokesperson from Bungie spoke to press today about why Destiny is not receiving a Wii U port. He says, “I don’t want to say it would be a bad business move since the Wii U isn’t selling well and we at Bungie believe it’s not a bad business move. I’m just going to say it’s currently not in our best interest.”

When asked for more details as to why Bungie made this decision, he replied, “The screen controller is just not good for Destiny.” When told that the Wii U GamePad has all the same buttons as the Xbox or PlayStation controllers, he responded, “Well, we just don’t have the resources.” Pressed further for more details, the spokesperson hesitated and then declined to speak anymore about the subject.

Capcom producer Yoshinori Ono explained why Capcom has been so reluctant as to give detailed reasons for not porting games to the Wii U. Ono says, “The 3DS is such a great system which is why we want to keep those doors open. Nintendo and Capcom are best friends and sometimes friends lie to each other because that’s what friends do.”

“I mean, this is the same thing with the Vita,” he continues, “We love the PS4. We just never talk about the Vita to avoid the same situation. Unlike the Wii U, no one cares about Vita ports so it’s much easier to avoid the problem.” When asked about what the Vita’s problem is, Ono replied, “There is no problem with the Vita, it’s just currently not in our best interest.”

EA CEO John Riccitiello also talked about Wii U ports saying, “The only reason we don’t even talk about the Wii U is because I hate dealing with Nintendo fans. I would rather give out fake excuses than have to put up with them.”

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8 Responses

  1. Jim Profit says:

    Looks like it’s over, WiiU is finished.

  2. SHINOBI_3 says:

    hopefully wiiu will finally get exclusives now

  3. El Chaos says:

    Haha, the Electronic Arts CEO cracks me up.

  4. Pete41608 says:

    You all actually believe these articles?


  5. wiiu sucks! only has 1 good game ssb4. that’s it.